Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
