Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
