I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
