dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
