smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
