I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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