i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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