He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
