thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
