i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
