Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
