**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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