i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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