At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
