Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
