Buhtt sex?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
