Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
