is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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