i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
