is your mom at the bar?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
