the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
