Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
