I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
