SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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