Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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