Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
