i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
