am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
