i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
