he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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