And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
