Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
