He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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