You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
