I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
