Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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