it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
