sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
