I don't think brook has ever known best
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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