The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
