Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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