I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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