I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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