I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
