Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
