Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Is it because I queefed?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
