Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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