We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
