Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
