My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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