Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize