ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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