Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
