I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He has the fingertips of a God
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