I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
