If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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