does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
