Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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