There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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