Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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