He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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