he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
