I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The uberlube is also flammable
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize